Hey hey heeeeeeey!
I’m sorry for whatever happens
Opening Credits: Metropolis, by Owl City
that’s kinda cool
Waking Up: Sleepsong, by Bastille
well this fell apart faster than expected
First Day At School: The World Has Its Shine (But I Would Drop It One A Dime), by Cobra Starship
oh god my alternative emo rock dance pop phase is coming back to haunt YOU I’m so sorry
Falling In Love: Home, by Philip Philips
Date Song: Do It With a Rockstar, by Amanda Palmer
Breaking Up: Someone Told Me, by Jake Bugg
this one works and it’s sad
Life’s OK: The Bakery, by Arctic Monkeys
sure why not
Getting Back Together: This Is How We Live, by the Summer Set
Wedding: Dark Blue, by Jack’s Mannequin
this is trash I’m trash I’m so sorry
Birth of Child: All I Need, by Awolnation
Final Battle: Nevermind, bu Foster the People
Death Scene: You Are a Runner and I am My Father’s Son, by Wolf Parade
Funeral Song: Black Eye, by Steel Train
it sounds a little too chipper tbh but okay
End Credits: Something I Need, by OneRepublic
myquixoticlife God this is awful I’m so sorry you deserved so much better
Personally, I think it’s not that bad.
Amanda Palmer makes up for everything!
"Only 10 baht."
I blinked at the tuk-tuk driver in disbelief. What’s the catch? He was pointing out in my map of Bangkok how far away I am from my destination - 8 kilometers away to be exact, and he is telling me that it will only cost me 10 baht.
I told myself to just accept it. Maybe transportation in Thailand is really not as expensive as it is in Manila. It is, after all, the melting pot of backpackers and tourism in Southeast Asia. Minutes later, the driver made an unscheduled detour and deposit me in a tourist guide office. Later on that week I learned that most tuk-tuk drivers get commission or “bonuses” from shops if they bring passengers by on the way to their real destinations.
The office was rundown and - dare I say it - dodgy. I made no promises to Mr. Tuk-tuk Driver that I will buy anything, but here is the owner, smooth-talking me, all hippie and world traveler looking with his pony tail and deep tan. He was showing me different trips I could take and a voice inside my head tells me to be spontaneous, just take it.
But it’s out of your planned budget, practical me whispers inside my head.
Then no dinner today and tomorrow, you can stand to lose a pound or two, adventurous me retorts. Besides, isn’t this what travelling is for? Meeting the unexpected, jumping out of your comfort zone and embracing what the world throws at you? My adventurous persona is at her most convincing.
Yes, this is why I am here, all by myself, in a country where I know no one and no one knows me… to let the world and all its surprises envelope me, and see if I have what it takes to survive on my own. And right now the world is telling me to go to Ayutthaya.
What the hell is Ayutthaya? Where the hell is Ayutthaya? My practical side is whining. I know Bangkok. I know Chiang Mai. I know Phuket. Ayutthaya I’ve never heard of before.
Before any more arguments (inside my head) could take place, I took out my credit card and told the man to charge it.
Ayutthaya is an ancient city and famous for its ruins that boast of its splendor during the time when it was still the capital of the kingdom of Siam. I soon learned that it was 1 hour and 45 minutes away from Bangkok, as I had to spend each minute awkwardly trading smiles with the 3 couples I shared the van ride with.
They stare at me like I am a weird creature, travelling on my lonesome. I find them equally strange. Ancient ruins are not romantic travel destinations. They are fit for lonely wanderers on the road for self-discovery - like me!
Our first stop is the mossy, rooster-filled but glorious Wat Phu Kao Thong.
I marvel at the architecture but am glad that I am alone. Had I brought friends or family with me, they’d surely be dying of boredom while I marvel at turrets and ruins. I climb the steps slowly, for I don’t know if I’ll ever see or climb those steps again. Inside, at the top of the ziggurat-like structure is a small prayer room. I kneel and bow, kneel and bow, as I have seen others do before me. I could not explain why, it was not peer pressure or novelty, but the atmosphere in that temple exuded reverence and the only way I could show respect to Ayutthaya, to this ancient temple, ancient land, ancient culture, is to do as many others have done hundreds of years before me.
As my forehead touched the floor, I wonder if this is it. Is this what you are looking for? Is this what is missing in the life you left behind? Is it serenity? Or surrender? I don’t know yet what I am really looking for. All I know is, getting lost is the only way to find it.
I stepped out of the prayer room and tried to look up, at the highest point of temple. The sun hindered me from seeing the very top. I squint harder and lean my head a bit farther up. I almost lose my balance and scolded myself, do you want to go rolling down hundreds of ancient steps to your death?
In a moment of clarity that mostly occurs to me when I am alone, quiet and in the middle of travel, I realize how temples, churches, places of worship, whether ancient or modern, all seem to be pointing up, reaching up, to the sky. The places we built are so imbued with that thing inside us humans, that longing to find that which we lost and are still trying to find; in ruins, in foreign lands, in adventures and experiences. My thoughts go to those who have found it (they must be the men who were immortalized in the serene statues among the ruins), and those, like me, who are still searching.